David Reimer, in memorium
We’ve been trying to figure out what to say about the death of David Reimer. Though David was not intersex by the usual definitions, his story was like so many others we have heard from people with intersex conditions: Full of shame, secrecy, and trauma. Punctuated by hope, individuality, and love.
Though the follow-up stories of David Reimer from Milton Diamond and John Colapinto have made doctors stop and think, we know from our work that too many families coping with intersex are still subjected to shame, secrecy, and trauma. This won’t change until intersex is recognized as a psychosocial issue fully deserving of team care that foregrounds psychosocial support. But today, it is still primarily handled with surgeries meant to make intersex magically disappear. Enough pity and secrecy already. Let’s move toward honest, open care that plays on the strengths of families coping with intersex, rather than on their presumed weaknesses.
Please consider clicking here to donate to support our efforts to build a world free of shame, secrecy, and unwanted genital surgeries for people born with atypical reproductive anatomies. No more lies, half-truths, pity, jokes, euphemisms, humiliations.